So yesterday I went to Soulcare, which is a weekly class for Seminary spouses that I started going to last year. I've kept going because I enjoy it, and Ben is technically still a student until he finishes his Th.M. thesis. I was nervous because I play the piano for the singing (which I enjoy) but having not brought Isabelle before, I wasn't sure how to handle it. You see, right now things are going well at home. Every 2-3 hours she goes through the same cycle - eat, wake/play, sleep. Sleep is the most complicated one.When she was first born, we used to think she fought going to sleep. Now I think she was just telling us she was tired and couldn't calm down. So after all my scouring of baby books that first trying month (Babywise, The Happiest Baby on the Block and The No-Cry Sleep Solution), I went with the advice and tried to be consistent about watching for her sleepy cues and putting her down right away. In the last few weeks, there has been almost no crying at all. When I see that she is sleepy or she starts fussing after wake time, I put her in the car seat, give her the pacifier, draw the shade in her room, turn on her vacuum CD and put the car seat in the rocker and rock it back and forth. Sounds convoluted but she's asleep within 10 minutes and there's no crying. I know all the books warn against props to go to sleep, but at this point, you just want to do what you have to do.
Background: We discovered the vacuum cleaner trick back in early January, but it was driving me CRAZY. I would be home alone with the vacuum on while she was napping and I kept feeling like I was hearing voices when it was running...babies crying, people whispering. It was like "The Others"!!!! We finally got a CD and it's not nearly as bad but still does the trick for her.
So anyways, when I go to church, I usually just rock the car seat and she will drift off during church. I thought she'd do the same at Soulcare, but she was having a hard time and I was freaked out about being in a small group of mothers all watching me try to soothe my child. Someone offered to take her, swaddled her, put her in the colic hold - but she cried and cried and I felt awful. Finally I took her back and put her in the seat and swung it and she fell asleep. Why was I so scared to take control of the situation and just do what I felt she needed? Because in the back of my mind I'm always hoping that someday she'll just go to sleep by being cuddled and also because I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy or overprotective.
So as much as I don't want to relive that, I have to go back next week and just do what I feel is right for her. Crazy or not.
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3 comments:
If that's right for our little critter, we'll follow the link to that CD. I was a little hesitant about letting the cleaner just run and run... thanks for all your honest detail! Josh.
I can SO identify with your entry. It's so reassuring to read your entry, as I often feel 'crazy' in the things that work for us. Thanks for that Mellie. xoxo bear
That's so great that you've figured out what Isabelle needs to go to sleep, even though it sounds like quite the routine!! You've gotta do what she needs right now. I found the ideas in the No-Cry book to help for our two girls. For some reason, even though we're the Mom's and they're our babies, it does take guts to take control of the situation and do what our babies need instead of giving in to others. I've often felt like people think I'm the crazy one. Thanks for sharing from the heart. It's encouraging. -Love, Melody and Matt and our two little girls
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