September 28, 2006

I went into the kitchen to get the bottle ready at 3:30 am and saw these on the counter with a card addressed to me. Ben took the afternoon and Friday off so we could spend some extra time together. Auntie Christy and Uncle Dane babysat Isabelle so we could head out to a nice dinner (at Tuscan). We enjoyed wine with dinner and talked through things we were thankful for in the last 10 years, and things we hoped might happen in the next 10. Here are the highlights of what we listed:

Glad We Did in the Last 10

• went to California in 2000 to visit Saddleback Church
• Melody's trip to DC2000 as a chaperone
• Marriage Encounter for our 5th anniversary
• move to Toronto
• Ben working for Pepsi in Toronto
• move to Grand Rapids
• Ben took the day off (w/o pay) to spend with me the day after our miscarriage
• went to the Tyndale Retreat, and didn't leave upon realizing we would be sleeping guys/girls and we knew no one there
• deciding to go ahead and try to get pregnant before finishing at Calvin Sem

Hope to Do in the Next 10

• go on a trip (just the two of us)
• have more children
• establish and stick to a "date night"
• have photos taken in our wedding garb
• walk every day
  
• record music together

(There's more on that list that we can't publish.....)

Jason and Ginette (our best man and maid of honour) suprised us with phoning in a gift certificate for us to our restaurant. What a wonderful way to have them there with us! (Thanks, guys!!) We came home and retreated to the spare room to reread our letters that we wrote to each other 5 years at Marriage Encounter. It was a perfect anniversary - flowers, good food, reflection, conversation, thankfulness. Here's to the next 10, my love. So glad we made it.

September 28, 1996

When I woke up it was raining. When we left the church the sun was shining. We were kids, with no idea how we would pay our rent or complete our studies. I don't know how we made it through that first year. But we were together. We were married.

Honeymoon in Minden, Ontario

Noisy, Noisy

A few videos to share:

Isabelle has been obsessed with loud noises. She loves lawn mowers, cars, trucks, machines, etc. She has even perfected her "brmm, brmm" noise. I think she's dreaming of her great grandpa's RC airplanes. She would LOVE those. Anyways, this clip comes from early September when Ben offered to take Belle along while he was mowing the lawn. She was riveted to the side of the backcarrier, straining to see the lawnmower and trimmer the whole time.

This clip shows more of the everyday Isabelle. We've been working on baby signing, but so far she just seems to get frustrated at me...it's like she already has her own signs and I know them - they are just not the polite hand motions. They all involve yelling and vigorous body movements. The most obvious one is "I want that."

SoulCare Retreat Recap

The retreat was wonderful. Friday night we kicked off the evening with lively singing by 35 women (led by me), followed by a great dinner. I was seated at a table with some new and old faces, but everyone was just wonderful to talk to. The topic for Friday evening was "Finding Your Voice" and I came away from that thinking about my own reticence to say what I think.

Saturday morning we also had a great time of singing and then I was part of a panel (yeah, I was doing double duty....) of pastor's wives. One was close to retirement, one was 15 years in, and then there was me, with a whole year under my belt. Even though I wasn't sure what I could contribute, people gave me really encouraging comments afterwards about what I had shared. The questions centered around how the ministry had affected our marriage and our kids. I shared about the patterns Ben and I have tried to set up in our life this year (limit social events on Sundays, make sure congregants use the cell and not the home phone, take a day off and stick to it, use a daily connecting time - for us it is lunch, etc.). I couldn't share much about how it has affected Isabelle, but I did share my ideas and hopes for helping to make Sundays special for her, and how we try to be organized so as not to create more chaos on Sunday morning.

In the afternoon we had someone come in to talk about assertiveness. Let's just say it was a great presentation, not only to remind me of good habits for myself, but how to think and react when people don't communicate well. We closed with more great singing and with Carol giving us a blessing. Ben had a wonderful day with Isabelle, and I was so glad to see her at the end of the day!! That was the longest I'd spent without her, and it seemed long. It was a great weekend, but I was really tired Saturday night.

SoulCare

This weekend I'll be leading worship at a retreat for Calvin Seminary spouses. The retreat is the annual kickoff event for a program called SoulCare that I attended while Ben was at the Sem. It was a weekly event that brought together women whose husbands were entering the ministry; women whose lives were on hold and after that faced uncertainty. Where would we live? What kind of church would we serve? What would we do there? It was a great group for us to share feelings and thoughts about being married to a future minister. Our host and leader, Rev. Carol Muller, lives in a gorgeous house on a lake, and just being there always really fed my soul. Sometimes it was hard for me to be there (I was pretty much the only woman in my group who didn't have children) but as a whole, it was really good for me to go.

Last year the retreat was the weekend after we moved, plus I was 7 months pregnant and I had to cut out on the Saturday to attend a prenatal class. It was really chaotic. This year Ben is looking after Isabelle for Fri evening/all day Saturday so I can go. He's looking forward to the time with her.

Rays of Sunshine

Auntie Jo visited us from Canada this weekend. We were so blessed to have her sunshine radiate our home for three whole days! Many times during the weekend when Jo held Isabelle or offered her a toy, it was like déjà vu back to when I would do those things for Jo, 19 years ago. She lit up our lives with her cuteness and antics as a toddler; we were in love with her! Now she’s all grown up and living on her own, working hard at school.

After many grey and gloomy days, the sun came out this weekend in what seemed like a sign of Jo’s presence with us. We shopped, sorted my clothes, ate pizza, watched “West Wing” and talked. We also laughed at Isabelle’s antics a lot. It was a great time to connect with her and of course I had a lump in my throat when she drove away.



We had another visit like this on Labor Day, when Uncle Jody came to our house for the first time. Isabelle loved his guitar, and we also just had a great time eating, talking, playing our instruments and being out. We continue to describe Jody’s friendship as “inescapable”; it seems as if nothing can keep us apart – our paths are destined to keep crossing. We’re so grateful for his loyalty, his thoughtful way of approaching issues and just his sense of humor and fun. We always have such a good time together!


Visits like these lift my spirits on days when there are long lists of things to accomplish and babies in the house that do not like to sleep.

One Year Ago

We took possession of this house a year ago on Wednesday. It's been a ride with the renovation and learning how to do all of those home repairs. Here are some things we learned:

1) Whenever you go to Home Depot to get a part for something, even if you take all of the things that it has to hook onto, you'll still get it wrong and end up having to go back and exchange it. (Ben spent a total of 5 days hooking up the gas on our dryer which proved this theory over and over again.)

2) Renovations take three times as long and cost twice as much as you think they will.

3) When you have more places to keep things, chances are you will put things in a different place everytime and have no idea where anything is. (This is especially true if you are 8 months pregnant when you move.)

We love our home!! It is everything we ever dreamed of having, and we feel like we'll never own another one like this one. Here are highlights of what we love.

Attached garage (hello bringing baby in while it's snowing). A 4th guest bedroom and bathroom downstairs. A finished basement. A laundry room with built in shelves. A room all of Ben's own to store his things that he'd always leave out in the living room and I'd trip on weights. An open concept living dining area. A yard that backs onto a ravine. A play structure that was already there. A long attached back porch. A neighborhood that has lots of mature trees within walking distance of our work and shops.

Happy anniversary, house.

Blog Block

Yep. It's me. I'm still here.

It's been a long month. A month of night wakings and colds and company and teething and extra projects at work and the list goes on. I have just been dragging myself around; I've been so tired. Things always seem so bad when you are sleep deprived. It's not really that they are bad at all. But when you are in that state, you just don't think right. Or see right. You all know what I am talking about. Hence, I have not been blogging or doing much of anything for that matter. Just hanging in there. Tonight Isabelle went to bed early (she had a 9 month shot today) and I managed to post new photos on Flickr and now I'll work on some blog posts.

This has been a good but different summer. I've enjoyed the time with friends and family who came and visited us. Isabelle did so many wonderful things this summer, and in some ways I feel like I've spent the whole summer in awe of how she is developing and growing. But I missed being at the cottage for a week and reading a new Harry Potter book. And being bored. And having time to work on projects at work and clean up my office. I missed swimming. I missed going to Ontario. And now summer's over and I'm feeling as though the fall is ramping up relentlessly.

One thing we did very regularly this summer was walk. In fact, most mornings after Isabelle woke up, we fed her and then we headed out for 40-60 minutes. It was precious time for Ben and I to talk and connect, and Isabelle loved being outside. We often treated ourselves to a cold drink at Starbuck's as a reward for the good exercise. When I think of this summer, I don't think of the fatigue or the disappointment at things left undone. I think of Isabelle crawling and pulling up for the first time. I think of those great walks and picnic suppers by Reed's Lake enjoyed by the three of us. I think of time spent with the people I love who sacrificed a lot to come and visit us. And I tell myself that it was another season. They come and go, and there will be more.

Farewell summer.

Me Time

Ben and I have been talking a lot lately about how we use our time. We struggle with getting our housework done (doesn't everyone?) and also having "me" time. Ben uses that time for exercise, and I use it for music. Tonight, even though we were tired, Ben did the dishes, and I tidied the main floor and vacuumed. Then at 9:30, Ben began working out and I played the piano. And now the whole day is ahead of me tomorrow with manageable tasks like picking up clothes in the bedroom and paying bills, instead of a mountain of dishes and a dirty floor. I like feeling that I can play with Isabelle during the day, instead of trying to do housework with her around. I'd rather just do the work when she's asleep at night instead.

I enjoy playing the piano, but I struggle with several things. I've never had a good technical regime, and so I'm never sure if I'm doing the "right" kinds of exercises. I also don't have a lot of finished pieces on my shelf that I love, and that I can actually play well. I have lots of stuff that I like the sound of, but that I can't play unless I'm in awesome shape. That's discouraging. So tonight I chose two pieces (Mozart's A minor Sontata, 1st movt. and Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu) that I have worked on in the past, but have never finished, and committed myself to working on them bit by bit, in hopes of actually being able to enjoy playing them in entirety and with accuracy.

Video on the Blog: Take Two

Click here to see some highlights from Belle's summer.

Okay, this ended up being fun after all my frustrations. Uncle Ben was here for a visit this week and he showed me a "simpler" way. I won't save them up like this anymore, but will try to post smaller clips more frequently.

No Time to Talk

Okay, here's a speedy update on what I've been doing.

1. Mom and Dad came for an awesome week long visit. We worked on the house and did fun things.

2. Isabelle has acquired a lot of new skills in the last 2 weeks and I'm still struggling to adapt (i.e. babyproofing). She has also been napping for only 1/2 hour at a time so there's no time for blogging, teeth brushing, housework, etc. She can now crawl, pull herself up in the crib and stand with assistance. She also got her first two teeth (bottom front) while Mom and Dad were here.

3. We had a mouse in our house so Ben was fixated on catching it - and he did...at 12:30am this morning.

4. Spending what precious little free time I have trying to upload video to my blog and I'm still not there yet. I'm very close.

5. Trying to stay cool. We broke heat records set in 1995 this week.

That's it for now. More details later.

Sand and Water

Last Saturday, Isabelle went swimming for the first time at Uncle Chris' trailer. The second picture is a classic Isabelle face.



On Tuesday, she played in the sand for the first time at Meijer Gardens with friends Jay and Colin from church. Yes, she ate some.

We've Come a Long Way Baby

Here's Isabelle at 2 days old, then at 7.5 months old. Amazingly, the girl can still wear the same outfit (although it's about to be relegated to the "too small" pile). She's simply amazing and we cherish each day with her.

Happy 4th

This weekend we decided we'd head out of town today so that we wouldn't be tempted to work on the holiday. We got up in good time and decided we'd let Isabelle have the AM nap first. We put her down, she cried for the usual 5 minutes and then silence. On a fluke, I went in to check on her about 10 minutes later and she was SITTING UP in the crib. That was a first; she hasn't pulled herself into a sitting position before. We usually have to plunk her down that way. With a little more talking to herself, she finally went to sleep, or so we think. But 20 minutes later she was again making noise, and when I peeked, she was SITTING UP again. So much for the nap. I think she was so excited about her new trick that she couldn't sleep. She's also been rocking back and forth on all fours - crawling here we come.

Back to our day. We gave up on Isabelle sleeping around 10am and packed the car. We'd planned to go to P.J. Hoffmaster State Park on Lake Michigan. We'd tried to go there two weeks ago with Karen, Sophie and Ali, but we got rained out. We then got about 5 minutes down the highway when we were hearing a loud noise like a plane. Yep, we got a flat. Ben, my hero, put the spare on and then we headed home. So much for going to the beach. After giving Isabelle a decent PM nap, we ventured out to get the tire repaired, which we were able to do in one hour while we walked around the mall. We're finishing the day with pizza and a movie since the munchkin is now in bed (with a newly lowered crib mattress to prevent more antics).

Things I was very thankful for today....you could attribute these to random circumstances, but I'm Reformed so I believe in the providence of God.

• Ben and I had just eaten 15 minutes before we got the flat tire. So had Isabelle. Those of you who are familiar with what Ben and I (and now Isabelle) can be like when we have not eaten know that this prevented us from loosing it and being in a very bad mood!
  
• We pulled over in a place that had a wide shoulder and under a bridge so we were in the shade while Ben did his magic.
  
• Ben depends on the car for his work and I was thankful that it didn't happen on a day where he would have had to cancel many appointments to get the tire fixed.
  
• The bolt on the spare tire's compartment was basically rusted on, but somehow Ben managed to reef it off.
  
• Ben did not get hit by passing traffic.
  

I'm excited to see what happens when we try for a third time to go to Hoffmaster with my parents in July. :)

Thank you - yummy!

 

May I Have Your Hand?

 

Visit from Canada

Here are a few pictures from our recent visit from my sister Alison, beloved friend Karen and Karen's baby Sophie. Sophie is 3 weeks older than Isabelle. We ate good food, went for walks, compared baby advice, went shopping, and just generally had a wonderful time. I was very sad to see them all go. There are more photos on Flickr.

Karen is my oldest friend. We grew up on the same street and we were born 3 weeks apart as well. At many times in our lives we have drifted apart geographically or to different schools, but fate always seems to draw us back together. She was always the "cool" kid growing up and I wanted so badly to be her "best friend". And here we are...she came a long way just to visit me so I'm guessing that we're pretty close. I'm very, very thankful for her friendship. 

Walk and Walk and Walk Away

It's back.

About 3 weeks ago I started noticing that I was really tired. I didn't feel like doing things I normally liked, lost interest in food, became unusually irritable and short tempered, didn't want to talk to anyone and just wanted to stay in bed. And then finally a few days ago it dawned on me - my depression is visiting me again. We were introduced almost 10 years ago, and thankfully it's not been around much during the past year.

But this time I'm trying my very hardest not to let it stay, not to invite it in for pizza and a movie and a box of chocolates. This morning when I would have liked to yank the covers over my head, I did my walking video. Exercise seems to be the biggest blues zapper that I have in my weapons cabinet. "Walk away the blues; walk away the stress..." says Leslie Sansone. Often the problem for me is that I can't hold onto the desire to feel better - it's a genuine wrestling match. And if I don't want to feel better than there is nothing motivating me to do anything about it.

So hear this, bleakness and darkest blues, you can't beat me! I can't stand the thought of my daughter saying "What's wrong, Mama? Are you sad again?" I'm going to walk and walk and walk away from you this time. Just try and catch me.

The Summer Ensemble

I can't resist posting more photos of Isabelle wearing items from her summer wardrobe, but there's a lot, so I've decided to get Flickr working for me again so I don't post 1000 photos of her on the blog. :) She has started reaching for lots of stuff and now it includes the camera, so every time it's out, she's reaching towards it (yet another challenge to photographing a baby).

Happy Anniversary

Today is my mom and dad's 35th wedding anniversary. As a kid, I remember always wondering what to get them as a present for this occasion. One year when I was under 10 I scoured garage sales and came up with a dried flower arrangement that was under glass. I'm sure my mom thought it was very ugly, but it stayed in a prominent place on our china cabinet for a long time. This to say that I've never been very good at expressing how I feel about their love for each other.

I've been blessed with two of the most special people on earth for parents. Here are some things I love most about them as a couple.

• They love to spend Mondays together.
  
• They read books about building their relationship and making it stronger.
  
• They pray together.
  
• They give to others together, by offering gifts and using their home for hospitality.
  
• They continue to desire a great relationship, instead of settling for an "okay" one.
• They are full of pride for their children and delight in our successes.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad. Thanks for being so committed to each other.